January Reads

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A slow month for reading, only two books.

Float Plan, Trish Doller

Our January book club pick and everyone loved it. I went into this expecting a cheesy romance, and I’m happy to say I was wrong. The pain and grief were real (and immediate- be prepared), and the transition from strangers to friends to lovers felt very natural.

After the loss of her fiancé Ben, Anna impulsively decides one morning to take the sailing trip they had planned together. Reaching her first destination, she realizes she cannot continue alone and hires Keane to help. Strong, sensitive, sexy Keane, grieving over his own losses… We follow them through the Caribbean and through their personal growth, searching for hope and healing. 

"There," he said. "That little star at the bottom. That one is yours, Anna. Forever and always." I didn't remind him that sometimes the light we see is left over from dead stars. It couldn't be mine if it was already gone. Had I paid better attention to where he was pointing, I might be able to find that star tonight. But it doesn't matter. I already know how it feels to try holding on to the light of a dead star.

The Hole, Hye-Young Pyun

After a car accident that kills his wife, Oghi awakes from a coma paralyzed and unable to speak. His mother-in-law is grateful that they still have each other, until Oghi is able to return home from the hospital and she finds her daughter’s journals in the study. She reassures Oghi that everything will be okay, she is here to finish what her daughter started. Will Oghi be able to get help before she finishes the task?

This book is written from the viewpoint of Oghi, stuck in his bed. There is a lot of backstory; well-written and instrumental to the story, but I could see how it would easily annoy some readers. As far as horror, I think we all know where the story is going pretty quickly. The horror is not in the plot, but in putting ourselves in Oghi’s place as he reflects on his past and tries to get help from the few people around his before his mother-in-law succeeds in closing off the outside world. I wasn’t sure which way the ending would go, as I would gain and lose hope right along with Oghi. This is a love it or hate it book, but I think it’s worth trying!

For Oghi, who'd found little reassurance from his doctor's attempts at pep talk, his willpower was returning on it's own. Thanks to his left arm, he became aware of what he still had, what made life worth clinging to. There were so many things. He felt he could grasp all of those things with his left arm alone.

You’re not a bad mom, you’re just average.

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I have a friend who recently transitioned from career mom to stay-at-home mom (which is still a working mom, but I digress).

We went out to breakfast one morning and she broke down. “I just feel like I’m such a bad mom.” She went through her list of incomplete chores and moments of impatience, and when she got to the end, I told her, “you’re not a bad mom! You’re just average!”

Laughing (and calling me a name or two), she said she thought I was going to tell her she’s a great mom.

Nope. Hear me out.

At some point we all fall behind with laundry and let the dust pile up. We all stop at McDonalds more than we should. We all lose our cool and our control and our marbles.

We all feel inadequate.

I can tell you that it’s only natural to feel that way. I can assure you that even the gentlest of the gentle parents have lost their patience and yelled at their kids. I can share with you that all of my guest linens have been piled (unwashed) on the workbench in my garage and will likely stay that way until someone decides to visit. I can guarantee you that for every perfect square on instagram, there is chaos in the wider shot. I can commiserate with you, glass of wine in hand, in your living room surrounded by toys and balled up socks and goldfish crackers.

I can laugh with you and tell you what an average mom you are.

But when you truly need the validation that you are a great mom (because we all need deserve that from time to time), the only ones who can remind us that we are doing a great job are the ones who call us mom.

Take the time to snuggle up with them and ask them how they are doing. Talk to them about what makes them happy. Ask them if there is anything you do that makes them sad. Sincerely listen to what they have to say (even when phrases like ‘you don’t give us enough ice cream!’ inevitably come up). Let them know that even you are still growing and learning and have moments of impatience and anger. Remind them how much you love them, how important they are to you, and how proud of them you are.

Do not measure your worth as a mom by how much you can clean in one day or how many vegetables your kids are willing to eat. Measure it by the joy and love you share with your children every day, by the forgiveness and respect you show for each other.

Don’t aim for perfection, embrace being average.

5 Favorite Reads of 2021

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This book. So emotional. I was not prepared.

Marisol is a lost spirit who does not know who (or why) she is, suddenly tethered to her nephew, Ramon. As her memories return and seep into Ramon’s dreams, he delves into his untold family history and together they learn why she vanished in the Cuban Revolution, and the power of forgiveness and love.

Older navigates us through Marisol’s heavy story with heartbreaking prose that feels poetic at times. This book has a spot in my top 5 favorite books of all the years.

So if you ever wonder what we, the disappeared, dream of in our darkest hours, know that it is you: those who remain. And we dream of each other, catalogues of the dead and forgotten; we wonder which are still out there in some tiny hole, praying for life, dreaming of us, fighting off demon memories and then supreme loneliness.
Daniel José Older, The Book of Lost Saints

In Under the Lavender Moon, we enter into a fantasy world where sixteen-year-old Rilla keeps her magic hidden, until a palace scout forces her hand by poisoning her auntie, leaving Rilla to reveal her healing powers. Now she has no choice but to enter a showcase in which the most beautiful and magically gifted girls are chosen to join the emperor’s harem.

Entering the Imperial Palace to prepare for the showcase, Rilla finds out that this world is so much darker than she imagined, and forges relationships and the strength she needs to begin fighting for herself and those around her who can no longer fight for themselves.

There were a few small shortcomings for me, but I believe most of the issues I had were intentional and my answers will be found in the rest of the series. The rest could be chalked up to the fact that this is a debut novel, and there are bound to be some bumps in the road while Fong finds her way; but don’t worry, she’s just about there already.

(Sorry, no quotes from this book. I read the hardcover and I have a tendency to say, “I’ll come back to this later and write it down,” but of course I never do. I’m creating a spread in my BuJo so, hopefully, I keep better notes with physical copies in the future!)

Another fantastic debut novel, another book that kicked my butt emotionally with lyrical writing.

Untold stories and heartbreak that spans five generations. Most of the focus is on Carmen, a Cuban Immigrant, and her daughter Jeanette, a struggling addict. Then there are Jeanette’s neighbors, Gloria and Ana, a mother and daughter from El Salvador (spoiler, it’s their story specifically that made me cry uncontrollably).

The chapters switch not only viewpoints, but are also not in chronological order, so I did find myself flipping back and forth a few times to get the timeline straight. Even so, I don’t know that I would have appreciated it as much if we were given everything in order. This way, Garcia was able to pull us in deeper, feel the raw ache and need of her characters.

As a child, Jeanette used to ask her about Cuba. Her father had a whole repertoire about winding colonial streets, about the most beautiful beaches in the entire world, about the magic of sitting on the Malecón watching the waves crash. He talked about his parents, his siblings, his whole past. He drew a mythology so enchanting, Jeanette hadn’t understood why her mother never said a word and would almost snap if she asked about her past. Jeanette had never even spoken to her maternal grandmother in Cuba. And even as a child, Jeanette understood that another narrative she couldn’t access had shaped her life. She didn’t have the vocabulary to say, I want to know who I am, so I need to know who you’ve been.
Gabriela Garcia, Of Women and Salt

In a small French town in 1714, Addie LaRue makes a desperate deal with Luc to be able to live her life freely for as long as she wants, but the catch- people forget Addie the moment she moves out of their sight, and Luc only pops up every decade or so to see if she’s ready to give in and give him her soul. But one day in 2014, she meets Henry, and he remembers her…

I think Schwab did a fantastic job weaving Addie’s present into her past, and I really enjoyed seeing the different ways Addie was able leave her mark in the world despite being forgotten. (Some reviews complained there was too much backstory, but it’s about the long (long, long) life of Addie, not just the small time she knew Henry…)

By the end of the day, the wooden wares are gone, and Adeline’s father gives her a copper sol and says she may buy anything she likes. She goes from stall to stall, eying the pastries and the cakes, the hats and the dresses and the dolls, but in the end, she settles on a journal, parchment bound with waxy thread. It is the blankness of the paper that excites her, the idea that she might fill the space with anything she likes.
V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

After trying to evade marriage by sullying her reputation, Charlotte Holmes is disowned from her family and set out into the mean streets of London. When her father and sister become suspects of foul play, Charlotte knows she must try to solve the mystery and save her family. With the help of new friend Mrs. Watson and childhood friend Lord Ingram, Sherlock Holmes is born.

I love these characters and watching their growth throughout the series. The sexual tension between Charlotte and Lord Ingram is palpable, but in a way that never distracts from the bigger picture. I love that each mystery is more of a character study than a who-dun-it (similar to my other favorite, the Phyrne Fisher Mystery Series). I love how Thomas was able to take something clever and make it cleverer. Although I did feel there have been a few lulls in the series that even I rushed through, it’s nothing that has made me grow any less fond.

Don't forget, sir, that I am a queen upon this board, and I do not play to lose.
Sherry Thomas, Murder on Cold Street